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Venting.

21 Aug

I just need to vent today. The heat today and the crowds are not helping, in addition to PMS blues 😦

It sucks to feel very rundown and tired. I’ve been trying to exercise more in attempt to shape up, to do whatever I can within this period of 2 months before I officially start work in October.

I realize now, that I find it extremely weird to have too much free time on hand. Not that it’s a bad thing to have free time, but I really can’t have too much of it because I feel myself becoming lazier. Trying to occupy myself with reading, my laptop, researching more in-depth for Gold Coast, occasional outings with friends and spending time with family and J.. I have my own me-time too, but I really cannot sit still for long.

I could sit in the library for hours just reading – I spent 3 hours straight in the library yesterday reading 2 novels.

I just feel weird now that I’ve so much time before starting work. A tiny part of me wishes that I can start work a bit earlier. The only thing that I’m looking forward to now, other than starting work, is the Gold Coast trip.

Everywhere’s feeling cramped and crowded in Singapore. Oh, and have I mentioned how much I truly HATE public transport during peak hour?

MRT felt crowded for 11+AM, when I was on my way to KTPH to visit my grandmother. Thankfully there was some respite when I took the MRT back west to meet Cherie at JP around 3+PM. The nightmare clincher came at 625PM, when I boarded the MRT at Boon Lay to get back to Chinese Garden, where the dad was coming to pick me up.

I must emphasize, that public transport is ABSOLUTELY THE WORST PLACE TO BE IN DURING PEAK HOUR.

Getting (squeezing) on the MRT was no joke. Imagine being squished so much and nearly getting crushed by the MRT doors. Yes, I got hit by the train doors. This isn’t the first time that I got hit by the door when on board public transport. Needless to say it put me in a very grouchy mood.

I’m extremely irritated by the fact that everywhere is too damned crammed up  for its own good, that there’s very little privacy in general. It apparently doesn’t take much for me to lose my patience when the weather is humid and everywhere is crowded. I just want to be able to walk around in peace, feeling as though I can have my own space. The concept of privacy really seems to be nearly non-existent these days, and it’s something that I find hard to accept and tolerate.

Is it so hard to have a sense of privacy? All I need is that bit of silence for a while, to recover from the craziness of everything around, to get back some of my equilibrium. I hate noise in excess (okay, who doesn’t?).

It’s like, the only things that keep me sane are my family, friends, J. And the presence of God. I know it’s the best that anyone can hope for and have. But sometimes, circumstances around you can be absolutely crappy and that’s when you feel everything start to crash down around you.

I think all I need now is a hug 😦 for all the pressures to be dissipated. I need to escape.

Meeting up with Cherie after she got back from Mexico was a comfort – we talked about literally everything under the sun, catching up with each other on news and whatnot. It was the bright spark of the day at least, so that’s something I’m thankful for, at any rate.

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Posted by on August 21, 2013 in Rants

 

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